Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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