You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
