would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
