And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
