i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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