OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
