Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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