does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
