I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
