Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
