You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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