when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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