I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
