ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
