I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
is it fun? or sober?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
