I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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