His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
