I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
