Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
