Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
