Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
