Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
