The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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