If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
