The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
