New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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