I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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