Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Holy sore nipples Batman
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
