I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
