I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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