You're so nebulous sometimes
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
