Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
