Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
...so i touched it.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
