best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
