I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
