is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
