Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
