If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
