Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So much Jack, so little girl.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize