So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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