I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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