hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
