My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
