I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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