I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
