I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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