you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
