How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
