A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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