Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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