Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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